Autor: Allie Ponix<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Todo empez\u00f3 cuando intent\u00e9 ense\u00f1ar yoga a mis vacas. S\u00ed, yoga. Pens\u00e9 que ser\u00eda relajante: saludos al sol, respiraci\u00f3n profunda, tal vez un poco de meditaci\u00f3n. Pero las vacas no son flexibles. Cherrytail se qued\u00f3 atascada en la postura del perro boca abajo, Cottonbean se qued\u00f3 dormida en mitad de la postura y Butterball simplemente se dio la vuelta y se tir\u00f3 un pedo espectacular. En fin, una noche, durante su \u00absaludo a la luna\u00bb, las vacas miraron tan fijamente a la luna llena que esta parpade\u00f3. Lo juro. La luna parpade\u00f3. Un rayo gigante de luz lunar cay\u00f3 como un foco de discoteca y, de repente, mis vacas se volvieron blancas. Blancas como la pasta de dientes. Blancas como si las hubieran lavado con lej\u00eda. Entr\u00e9 en p\u00e1nico. \u00bfEran fantasmas? \u00bfHab\u00eda creado accidentalmente vacas lunares? Resulta que hab\u00edan estado bebiendo mi poci\u00f3n experimental de Elderwood que hab\u00eda preparado para convertirme en un Ogopuu (quiero escupir baba a la gente). Al parecer, reacciona con la luz de la luna y provoca un blanqueamiento espont\u00e1neo de las vacas. \u00bfQui\u00e9n lo hubiera imaginado? Ahora se pavonean como modelos de moda, moviendo la cola y mugiendo en espa\u00f1ol. Pill\u00e9 a una intentando pedir leche de avena en la tienda de Zeki. As\u00ed que s\u00ed. As\u00ed es como mis vacas se volvieron blancas. Y sigo sin poder sacar a Charrytail de la postura del perro boca abajo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It all started when I tried to teach my cows yoga. Yes, yoga. I thought it’d be relaxing-sun salutations, deep breathing, maybe a little moo-ditation. But cows are not flexible. Cherrytail got stuck in downward dog position, Cottonbean fell asleep mid-pose, and Butterball just rolled over and farted dramatically. Anyway, one night during their “moon salutation,” the cows stared so hard at the full moon that it blinked. I swear. The moon blinked. A giant beam of moonlight zapped down like a disco spotlight and poof\u2014 my cows were suddenly white. Like toothpaste-white. Like just got laundered by bleach white. I panicked. Were they ghosts? Did I accidentally create lunar cows? Turns out, they’d been drinking my experimental Elderwood potion I have made to turn myself into a Ogopuu (I want to spit slime at people) Apparently, it react with the moonlight and causes spontaneous cow-whitening. Who knew? Now they strut around like fashion models, flipping their tails and mooing in Spanish. I caught one trying to order oat milk at Zeki\u2019s shop So yeah. That’s how my cows turned white. And I still can’t get Charrytail out of the downward dog position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Autor: Allie Ponix Todo empez\u00f3 cuando intent\u00e9 ense\u00f1ar yoga a mis vacas. S\u00ed, yoga. Pens\u00e9 que ser\u00eda relajante: saludos al sol, respiraci\u00f3n profunda, tal vez un poco de meditaci\u00f3n. Pero las vacas no son flexibles. Cherrytail se qued\u00f3 atascada en la postura del perro boca abajo, Cottonbean se qued\u00f3 dormida en mitad de la postura […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/940","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=940"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/940\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":941,"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/940\/revisions\/941"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=940"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=940"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bearpixelplay.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=940"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}